Truer words have never been spoken. This is how I feel about the horrors of this disorder. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry.
My wife's disorder has some known triggers. If she is faced with a large gathering social situation, she struggles. Her biorhythm must be maintained through routine, routine, routine. These gatherings are not routine. My wife so wanted to attend the Remembrance Day ceremony today. She is a true patriot. She loves and respects those who serve. She wanted to go but shortly before, it happened. The social stresses derailed her emotions. She became distant and enraged.
In near perfect timing, one of my relatives commented, "She has her bitchy pants on today."
How perfect is that? To tell a person who suffers from a significant emotional disorder, she is having an emotional issue. It is like telling a cancer patient, their tumour is showing. Don't you think this beautiful lady, crippled by an emotional disorder, knows she is having trouble.
The trouble with this disorder is that once derailed, every emotional turmoil is brought to the surface. Feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and neglect, however unreal are rushed to the surface. It is all the support group can do to keep my precious wife from making hurtful and rash decisions. The pain and suffering felt by the patient is so real. She is in pain.
Tonight she has gone to bed very early. She knows she is having trouble and her only defence is sleep. There is no way to help her. She fights this battle alone. We don't know how to help other than to wait it out and hope that people will understand. She means no harm but she lashes out at all members of her support group.
I only wish her rest and love.
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