Bombs Away

And so it begins... Out of nowhere, my beautiful wife turns from that special lady to a raging bipolar lunatic. No lie... A lunatic.

The horrors of bipolar sensitivities are amplified when the low period starts. My sweetheart has to endure stabbing like cramps that mimicking the horrors of an appendix attack. She struggles with the pain. There is no doubt about that.

Worse yet, she becomes hyper sensitive to emotional pain. My son and I went to play a video game... A totally innocent act... But in the eyes of the bipolar sufferer, it was a choice to be with him and not with her... Abandonment!!

What I have learned about the disorder is the feelings are real. They have a practical origin. My wife was hurt and probably had a right to be hurt but it is the response that is unnatural. An evening of grouchy silence to pay for fifteen minutes on the wii is a gross over reaction. I love her to death. She is a great lady and the love of my life. I have to keep reminding myself of these facts. This is not who she is. This is her disorder.

I have been reading about dis associative personality disorders online to try to understand better how to respond when the rage is over. My wife will not remember being angry. She will not remember the pain. She will not remember that everyone around her must be walking on egg shells when she struggles. When she comes out, she does not understand why people around her have changed their opinions of her.

We were warned when she was first diagnosed, we were told that bipolar patients end up alone and without friends. They cannot understand why and are depressed and devastated as a result.

As I was saying to a friend of mine today, head for the mountains boys, the bombing is about to begin....